Zemblanity

Serendipity, according to Wikipedia, is "making fortuitous discoveries while looking for something unrelated". An example would be Christopher Columbus seeking a new route to India, and inadvertently discovering America. Zemblanity is the opposite of Serendipity. I find it very curious that this is now a defunct word. So much so, that it is an invalid word for Scrabble. I have no examples other than my story.

Last winter, I was heading to see my mechanic about an oil leak. It was just after sunset, when there is barely any sunlight left, and the streetlights have not gotten to their full brightness. I'm driving along a section of fairly dark road, and I suddenly see an oh-so-brief glimpse of a man either dark-skinned or wearing dark clothing in front of me, with his hand was outstretched in a "STOP!" motion. I seem to remember seeing a flash of turquoise. I then remember hearing a huge "thud" on my car and I remember being pulled over, screaming.

I get out of the car, crying and screaming, "What happened!". I see a woman behind my car, visibly stunned, who indicates she is the man's mother-in-law. Another woman who had been driving behind me had pulled over and asked if I was okay. She said she hadn't seen the man either, and almost hit him after he'd flipped over my car. She gave me a hug and went where the man lay. I sat in my car and waited for the police to come to my car. The questioning is somewhat of a blur. I remember only telling them the brief details that I remember.. I try not to guess anything, because dispite my shock, I know how these things can come back to haunt you.

I am stunned and don't remember anything during that time period except that I did not have my car for about a month, my performance at work became unsatisfactory, oh, and the man died the following day. He was 61, and his wife and mother-in-law were picking him up after work. He was on the south side of the street and crossed to meet them on the north side, and had J-walked in front of me from my left. An investigating officer spoke to me a couple of weeks after, explaining in detail all of the forensics that had been done on my car and the road. I was driving under the speed limit, braked, and tried to steer out of the way. In essence, I was told, there was nothing I could have done to avoid the accident, I did everything I could to avoid it, and had he lived, he would have been cited.

How do I feel? Disgusted. Talking to the officer helps ease my conscience. I then get angry. How could that man do this to his family, taking such a risk?  Why didn't his wife pick him up on the other side of the street? Having lost my sister back in July, nothing could come close to being so tragic. I don't feel guilty. I feel that God has His plan, and this man's time was up. For whatever reason, God chose me to deliver him. I can't question it, and I don't have the energy to get angry at God. I'm still dealing with my sister being gone. I make an emotional "bookmark" of this and continue on...